MSUM absent from local bike share

Zana Pommier

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As fall in the Minnesota tundra is finally beginning, students without cars are bundling up outside Matbus stops and experiencing the feelings of numbness in their toes, boisterous purple fingers, and the awakening sensation of frostbite on their ears.

Meanwhile, NDSU and Concordia students are encouraged to stay warm by keeping their blood circulating and using bike share programs available on or near their campuses.

Students at MSUM are tough enough to go without a bike share program to keep their little piggies warm.

After all, who needs the stress-relieving benefits of a cardiovascular workout on a bike when you can just opt out of feeling your body at all and limp to class on numb feet?

NDSU students will have to take the time to swipe their student ID’s before grabbing a bike and heading into Fargo.

MSUM students know what a waste of time that is. They enjoy frantically tracking down friends who have cars, and hoping to catch a ride to replenish their stash of ramen. Even better, MSUM students like to test their wits by memorizing diverse bus schedules.

It’s always a lovely surprise when you’re sitting in a blizzard at a bus stop for 15 minutes and having a stranger come up and inform you that the bus doesn’t stop there on Sunday.

In fact, MSUM students get to experience real treasures by waiting in bus stops. True friendships are formed while sitting stagnantly next to strangers in 20 degree weather. These are where the best kinds of friendships are formed: cuddle-friends. You get the chance to understand that this is where true friends are made, by sitting next to the people who will nonchalantly scoot next to you for warmth despite the fact that unruly icicles are forming from your nostrils.

That’s right, MSUM students don’t need to get in on this local phenomena of bike share programs. Although Moorhead is a flat town that is geographically perfect for a stroll on two wheels, some MSUM students still love to own cars. Why not, when after all, buying gas and insurance is a cheap addition to any plentiful student bank account?

After all, students love to show off their grandpa’s old station wagon. They treasure the moments when they get to gather up groups of friends (they probably met at the bus stop) and blast “Ridin’” by Chamillionaire through their manual roll-up windows while cruising down broadway. They love to slide on sunglasses, sink into their leather seats, and whisper sweet nothings to their air conditioner with high hopes of it actually blowing cold air.

However, students really don’t need to get anywhere faster than they can walk. In fact, Dragons enjoy proving their ferocity by walking across campus and getting into class as fast as possible, all while dodging large strips of ice like a fun, vintage arcade game. In fact, students will often brag to their friends and keep score for not having slipped on ice that day. Five points for Janice.

Student athletes will happily test their physical endurance in the chilly months by scampering from Nemzek to Hagen in the quickest time possible. The swimmers are put to the ultimate test, as they get to experience the refreshing chill of frozen hair on their scalps, eyebrows, and eyelashes.

Don’t worry Moorhead. Take your time installing bike shares in our community. The Dragons will invest in ice skates.

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