Relinquish the relationship

by Kit Murray

murrayki@mnstate.edu

One of the most horrific thoughts we have when first coming to college may be, “How will I be able to keep all my friends back home?” I hear stories of girls keeping in touch with boyfriends and vice versa when leaving for the dorms in fall, but most of those relationships seem to fall through eventually.

Could it be the relationship was weak, or could it be we are meant to let go of people who do not belong in our lives? After being in college a few years, I have discovered negative relationships are better left behind.

During my freshman year, I started slowly losing my best friend of 11 years. It was evident  we weren’t meant to stay close, but it was hard for me to accept. I had no idea what to do as I was losing someone I grew up with, having shared practically every moment together. Now, three years later, I’m realizing how beneficial it was to let go of someone who brought me down.

My best friend was someone who was stuck in high school; she was constantly worried about everything and brought me sadness by bringing back memories of what once was. It wasn’t of interest to me to worry about high school. I was focused on the present and what was slowly unfolding in front of me in my life.

Political science junior Megan Parks talked about how letting go of a relationship can be challenging.

“It feels selfish to put your needs before a friendship, but if it isn’t a healthy, positive relationship then I think you have the right to walk away,” she said.

Although it may not be easy, it’s worth it to let go of these relationships that do not bring us happiness. If people aren’t willing to take time in their lives for us, then they may not be worth our time. It was a heart-breaking task to let go. Fortunately, I have met positive, supportive people in college who have been there for me instead.

“I had to let go of a friend a few years ago,” NDSU graduate student Alex Brezina said. “We didn’t have the same interests anymore. After setting up meetings to try and catch up, we realized it never led to anything else. In high school we seemed to have everything in common, but after a while those similarities were gone.”

It may seem simple and easy and almost common sense to focus on having good friends in our life, but we tend to hit those gray areas coming to college, when we still have a big connection to someone and can’t find the strength to say goodbye yet.

Often, we let our relationships conflict with other elements of our life — work, school, family. Though this may happen, we learn how important these strong friendships are. They provide support, a sense of community and even comfort. Having someone to discuss everyday issues and happy moments, or someone to just spend the day with is so important for our mental well-being.

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